In a tragic situation last Friday, Jill Nietzel and Sarah Murphy were attacked while walking past Walker's Restaurant. In shock, Nietzel died of a heart attack. Murphy died of a blunt head injury. Their loving families will sadly miss these two brave women. A witness to the crime reported that \"both of the ladies cried out to Super Man to save them.\" This odd phenomena of belief in superheros has also been testified to in other bizarre incidents. Further research reveals that a new cult has formed around the Man of Steel. The leaders of this religion claim that Super Man offers a 50% money back guarantee if he fails to save adherents. Both families will be receiving this money.
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